Our mouths can get us into trouble and cause conflict if we open them without thinking. Sometimes we could do with a pause button on them.
Here’s a question to think about: how many times have you put your foot in it, or created conflict with somebody in your organisation, because you’ve said something before thinking about it?
If you’ve answered truthfully, it’s probably happened a good few times. We can all have a tendency to pick up on points we don’t like or agree with in meetings and make a comment without a second thought, or act defensively under pressure or we think we’re being attacked.
The trouble with our mouths is that words can tumble out of them before the rational bit of the brain kicks in leaving us at the mercy of the emotional, reactionary bit that can get us into trouble. At times like these, it pays to hit the pause button on your mouth.
What we mean by this is stopping for a second or two to consider what’s been said and how to answer it. It’s a technique used by lots of people in the public eye, particularly MPs, most of whom are skilled at sidestepping difficult questions. Instead of an awkward silence, many expert mouth-pausers use a few ‘erms’ and ‘ahs’ or have a stock phrase they throw out before actually talking.
They also think about their body language, tone of voice and inflection when they start speaking again too. All good tips.
Not engaging the pause button can lead to many things. There’s regret when you wish you’d said – or hadn’t said – something. You might also feel that you […]